Looooong Week....

This is turning out to be just a horrible, horrible, horribly long week. I look like Quasimodo’s ugly sister – my face is swollen and eczema’d everywhere – my hair just looks like a 6-inch mess, and I just feel like a weak, fat frump, with no energy, or a shit if the world blew up in the next 20 seconds. I’m exhausted, dead, and met my match of boredom in this place. I’m pining for my old job – or something that at least resembles it.

Right now I’m just stuffed in a corner, banging away at the computer, barely part of the furniture, and probably even less useful. Or so they think. It’s not like I’m really capable of doing anything else around here. As soon as I’ve been trudging away obsessively at the vast amount of work I’m trying desperately to put a dent into for around an hour, I start losing all concept of the “outside” world. I can hear vague voices talking around me, and I only take any notice if it’s loud enough to actually disturb me. If anyone talks to me I’ve forgotten the art of interaction and socialisation, and can barely mutter incomprehensively while whatever they say goes in through one ear and out the other in nanoseconds. I feel like I’ve just become an extension of the computer… I’m thinking this is not good for me! Although I enjoyed the brainwork of sorting it all out, the arduous and tedious task of inputting all the data of the backlogged 3 months I have piled on my desk is somewhat of a miracle that not even his Lordship Jesus Christ could have pulled off in his heyday of curing lepers and making the crippled walk. One look at me and my caseload and he’d just run away, deeming it all a lost cause and crying for Daddy to come and take him home. In fact, I’m so head-buggered, I’m contemplating making all the female Christians Rabbis in the database just for the hell of it.

SOMEONE GET ME A TRIPLE-GRANDE SKINNY SUGER-FREE HAZELNUT CAPPUCCINO – I’M GOING MAD!!!!

I tried Jasmine Green Tea, but it looked and tasted of over-saturated piss. It really wasn’t a good idea, because I’ve felt quite nauseous since. And my headache’s just been getting worse. So let’s all blame it on the Jasmine Tea and forget about the fact I’ve just spent almost 3 hours straight in front of the computer with nothing but it to talk to. Nah… it’s got nothing to do that at all…

Mud-infused piss called Nescafe it is then… Shame it doesn’t cure headaches, insomnia, weight-issues, stress, depression, and whatever else I’ve got. I’d be well cured otherwise!!!

I’m getting lost inside the computer here. It’s like The Matrix, only my body is right here on the outside. I’m forgetting how to be an actual human in this place. People talk to me and I’ve forgotten how to talk back. I spend 7 hours a day staring at this computer. Now I’m no PhD Psychoanalyst (as it is, I only ever could afford to go no further than A-level psych and sociology – much to my life-long disappointment… at 28) – but I would definitely hazard a guess that the state I’m in is about as good as Nazis invading Austria. Maybe slightly worse, truth be told. I’ll not be happy to leave Anne Tayler Centre – the place is great – but I will be glad to be rid of this damned database… not to mention the damned agency and its inability to put money in my account for all my slaving. I might get £12 an hour, but, frankly, they could add a “0” on the end of that and it still wouldn’t be enough money for this huge headache.