Detoxification

My god I felt like crap on Wednesday. Slept for most of it too. Then Paris, the genius, called me about quarter to four asking me to bring her another pair of shoes because her boots had broken and the other shoes she kept at work were killing her feet (bought for prettiness, not for comfort, I might add). So I dragged my arse up and had to go all the way to Angel to make sure her pretty little feet didn't get murdered by her psychotic shoes. Way fun! ... Not.

However, when I was on the bus I did get to thinking how this was like one big detox for me and my life and my soul (very deep; I know!). I used to feel this way when I went through food detoxes (I'm allergic to about 40,000 things at any one time and have to go through various detoxes every once in a while to keep it in check) - mega-migranes, horrible headaches, terrible tummy cramps (loving the alliteration there... All terribly deliberate and clever!). Anyways, that's how I'm feeling now (although thinking about it, the food one probably wouldn't go amiss right now either...) - like all pained and detox-ey. Getting a lot of headaches, feel dozey and exhausted (like couldn't-care-less-if-the-world-exploded exhausted), can't see straight (no comments there please!) and can't think straight (...again, say nothing..!!) - I slept all the way through to 3pm today - and some of that was on the sheepskin rug at the end of the bed. And way comfy it was too - they should make mattresses out of those things - so warm, and cozy, no wonder the cat loves it. I went to cuddle the cat, and just fell asleep. Woke up much later - the cat was gone, my nose was in the pink fluff, and I just wanted to make it my bed forever.

So, detox, yeh... I'm hoping that I'll get all the yuk out of my life and soul and be left with some freedom and bouncyness, and a damned job that I actually like. Where I can do the other things that I like - like going to Starbucks, and music, and writing, and, well... going to Starbucks! (What can I say - those Caramel Macchiatos rock!) I'd put somehing sensible in that list, like buying a car, or investing in property, but I don't really give a rat's ass about all those "sociological" sensible things - I mean, that ain't what they're going to write on your gravestone or in your obituary, is it? "Delphine - she was very sensible. She bought a car and life insurance at 28, and invested in this cute little bungalow in Hove".... Uh - NO!! (Or at least I hope not - if that's ever a possibility put it your will that no one but imaginative people can write these things for you!). I want something a little cooler, something a bit more interesting than that - the least I want is all that "lived her life to the fullest" crap - and how on earth is that ever going to happen if I put all my pennies nicely away in the bank (and then they go bust anyway) and buy big, expensive things like houses, and have no money, or time, left to do anything interesting?? I'm detoxing my life and soul to make sure I'm entertained to the full during the next 80 years or so I'm stuck on this planet - no one has fun while they're paying off their mortgage, they just care about making the next one. If I'm going to waste money a lot of money, I'm going to invest in something cool, something fun, like a horse, or going to New Zeland, or a journey on Virgin Trains... (always an adventure - or a gamble - you can never tell where you're going to end up or how long you're going to be on it!)


I've moved on into a new life, and, lets face it, one must grieve for things that they have lost, and be left to it. At the same time, eventually, they can come out on the other side, and look to the future without it, and learning to live a different life (and in my case, a slightly less dysfunctional one). I'm hoping that I am close to really coming out of it (I'm bored of being unable to do anything but eat biscuits), and emerge from my cocoon a pretty little butterfly. And 3st lighter. With long hair, and a smaller bum. We can all dream...