Coffee!!... A Coffee!!! My Kindom for ... Ahh, OK, I don't have a kingdom - but I really want a coffee. Or 12. Too much is the grief for the life I no longer have, but miss considerably, that I can't settle nor be calm and relaxed. It's hard walking away from something I've lived with for so many years, but one has to do away with the bullshit eventually. And one day I hope to believe it.
I'm exhausted - beyond all reason. I can't see straight, I can't think straight. I can't concentrate. And to add insult to great injury, Other Half is watching Celebrity Big Brother. Can it get any worse???? After another late night of insomnia last night, I had to get up early to go to Enfield (like another going to another universe... and takes almost as long), and when I finally got there I walked past the agency office two or three times before I finally saw it. At least the interview and registration went well - even if the computer-simulated MS Office test didn't (whoever created and programmed it should be shot - and I think it's about 10 years out of date and based on Windows 95). The agent said that she thought I was "perfect" for the job - which, since it involves international travel (Europe, Africa), is something I wouldn't be too quick to turn down without a good long think, and a long hard look at the repvant travel guides... It would also be easy to get to, in Southgate, so at least there may be hope. There's got to be something out there... It's 20 degrees too cold, and I'm at least 3 sizes too big, to get out on the street corner ... Unless they want to pay me to put my clothes back on ...
I'm currently being driven mad with CBB, and it's playing havoc on my sensabilities... I can't believe Paris (Other Half) is making me watch it - it's like torture, only worse. The hell with all that sleep deprevation, and podding with a fire-hot poker, and the rack... Just show Big bloody Brother! They'll give up anything just to stop! I know I would... But she's not bloody stopping. And I fear there may be no stopping her now, either... AGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
... Now, I wonder - if I melt some Pro-Plus into my coffee... Would that make a difference to how awake I am ever going to be at this rate?????
And why is my hair still too short to go into a spider-clip?? It's been months since I had to have it all lopped off (long story... OK - no it's not... I didn't look after it, it got knotted up, had to have it all chopped off because it looked like a rat's nest... No, 'tis definitely not that long a story after all...). Can't it at least be able to stretch itself into something that'll keep it out of my face - and stop it tickling my nose??
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